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I told her it hurt so bad that the only way I could see to escape the pain was to take the coward's way out; I told her that I was trying to kill myself. And before I could say any more, before I could tell her about the starvation, she just screamed and grabbed me and held me tight, tighter than I've ever been held before in my life. It was as if her resolve had given her arms of steel; I couldn't move; she was holding me so tight that it hurt, I mean it really HURT, and the pain of being held so tight was the most wonderful thing she could have given me right then. The dichotomy was so unbelievable, to think that someone wanted me so much that they would lock me up like that, to prevent me from getting away, compared to Susan who really does have me locked up by means of a wedding band, and who just doesn't care, who cut me loose long ago, that I felt this primal scream come out of me, just this long drawn-out tortured wailing of the damned. And that was my affirmation; just like. Shit I did it again, my ability to pick a bastard was unerring. My knickers were nowhere to be found, shit and double shit, the bastards must have taken them too. I made myself presentable and went back inside to find my friend Shirley."How was it?" she asked."Fucking awful," I said, trying to smile, "you think by now I would have learned." Fucking bastards," she sympathise, "here turn around, you've got grass on the back of your dress." Thanks," I said letting her brush me down, "don't you sometimes think about giving men up Shirl?" Don't be mad," she laughed, "what would a pair of slappers like us do without them." Well we could do a lot worse, now could we," I said."Yeah, but wouldn't you miss a nice hard one now and again," she chuckled."Sometimes I wonder," I mused, "you can buy all sorts of rubber cocks these days." Wouldn't be the same though," she said."Yeah, always be hard for you, wouldn't hit you or leave you wanting," I said with feeling."Well there is that," she said,.
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